I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
