God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
