i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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