Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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