she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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