How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
