is wine microwaveable?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
