Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
