The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
