i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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