That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
