I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
