My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
