The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
