You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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