So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
