if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
