$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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