my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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