Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
