You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
