Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Randomize
