So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
