I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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