My liver just broke up with me...
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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