Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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