Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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