i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
