Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
