just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
