Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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