Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
