Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
