Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
