we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Randomize
