He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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