Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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