anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She's the barista slut.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
