You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
