Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
