We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
