I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
