Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
