I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
