Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
