I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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