I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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