What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
