Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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