So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
