I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
