Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
