I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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