im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
