I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
where does the pee come out of this thing
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
