yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
